Break up and Relationship advice.
Sometimes, we meet people we share such deep connections with...that we bond with them wholeheartedly. This can lead to those moments where you can feel the other persons state from miles away, or you may even develope psychic connections that let that person know you more intamatly than anyone else ever will. A person that fits this bill can bring you to the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. The hardest part for anyone...is when this connection can no longer continue romantically.
It's easy to fall into a pit of depression, and go through the normal cycles of loss & death. Sometimes even after the cycles are done and over with, we can't even say we are fully healed from it. You can google articles on divorce, break-ups, or whatever else you think may help you recover....yet, for many like myself- you never find anything about the deepest of deep connections. So I decided to write about my personal experience, and techniques I have used. I recently got out of a long term relationship myself, and in this light thought it would be a great time to share the techniques I am using to heal. Some are from external sources, and others are from my own meditations. I hope you find serenity sooner with these by your side.
- Master Antojai
1. Take a moment to let things settle down.
Your best friend isn't there anymore, and you need to pick up the personal pace again. It's extremely hard to get back into a new reality, especially if you weren't ready for it. So take your time to let the break-up, and dazed fog floating around you clear up. This helps with moving forward productively as you allow yourself to decompress.
2. Feel, but don't act
Sometimes you'll randomly get the urge to maybe say something unfinished, or maybe you want to work things out. Time is an illusion, but patience is your best friend. Let yourself go through the major parts of loss. Don't say anything until some time has passed. This gives you the ability to analyze the situation, and soundly decide what is best for you.
3. Don't Stop Moving
It's so hard not to just sleep until you feel better, but you can't stop now. Keep up your creativity, personal interests, and hobbies as these will help you get over the matter sooner. Take up some gym time, read books, or hang out with your friends. Slowing down only makes your healing that much longer. Force yourself, you can do it!
4. Stay Positive
Force yourself to focus on the positives that person brought into your life, and celebrate the experiences you both shared. Many times we focus on the negative most recent facts that just fuel more negativity into your life. Negativity weighs you down, so don't spend time thinking about things of that nature.
5. Let your support system know about your healing
Those closest to you can help you with your healing. Don't keep things bottled up, talk about anything bothering you. Vent, but don't ramble. Let your support system know how hard this is for you, how you want to go about your healing, and how they can help you. Everything is easier in numbers.
6. Don't lose sleep, redirect yourself
If you are anything like me, high emotions will cause insomnia. The worst thing is waking up at 4AM, and staring at the ceiling letting your emotions eat at you. So get up! Even if it's to stroll the house, use the bathroom, or start early on work - Don't Stop Moving. Fill yourself with positivity, as these kinds of activities will help you heal faster.
7. Write your feelings out on paper instead of resorting to drugs and alcohol.
Get a notebook, and write down all your thoughts. Anything that surfaces! You may make a tree chart, or just freely write - transfer your emotions onto paper. Transferance can be a great tool when applied properly. This helps empty yourself, and also think over the matter more closely. Sometimes we get a even clearer view on the matter once you see it in a new light (literally lol).
8. Explore yourself
Take this time to just focus on yourself, and catching up with your authentic self. Get to know yourself from a different perspective. You might be amused with what you discover.
Carrasquillo, A. (2017). Antojai Shamanic Wellness
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Photo by Charlie Foster